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How Not to Pass a Math Exam

We hope you enjoy our collection of excuses for not doing Math Homework.You may want to check out our algebra math jokes, calculus math jokes, geometry math jokes etc. on our Math Trivia page.

Submitted by Louette McInnes, Christchurch Boys' High School

1. Do not turn up - recover from your partying.

2. Always rewrite a question to make it easier e.g. change square root of 4/3 to 4/3.

3. Insert and delete minus signs at will - they don’t matter, anyway, do they?

4. Spread your equations across and all around the paper - avoid neat steps where someone might be able to figure out what you are doing.

5. In a division, always divide the bigger number by the smaller one.

6. Skip as many steps as possible in your working - it’s the examiner’s job to be a mind reader.

7. Given an integration, do a differentiation or a division do a multiplication - it’s easier.

8. Don’t waste time writing the numbers on the questions - this makes things too easy for the markers.

9. Write answers in red so the marker can’t see all the X’s where you were wrong.

10. Spend the most time neatly doing the question, or part thereof, that is worth the least marks.

11. For any question you can’t answer, have a good sob story to write in its place.

12. Alternatively, fill 3 pages with random equations and numbers in the hope the marker will give you a few marks “for trying”.

13. Write as messily as possible in the hope the marker will somehow be able to find your answer.

14. Forget your calculator - someone else is bound to have one.

15. Don’t bother to put your name or class on the paper - it keeps everyone guessing who got the failing mark.

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